Varric's Last Tale
by i.paint.the.sky
Summary: While hiding out in Tantervale after fleeing Kirkwall, Varric finds his path crossing with that of another figure of legend: the Hero of Ferelden.
1. Interlude I

_Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine ..._

_Yeah no, that's not how I'm starting this story. What kind of line is that anyway? Besides, the tavern wasn't mine, I'd left The Hanged Man far behind me by this point. Not that the Hanged Man was mine either but – screw it, let's try that again._

_Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show ... _

_Okay, well, that's a bit better. Maybe. That doesn't keep it from sucking though, does it? Who even says something like that?_

_In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since ..._

_No, he didn't. He really didn't._

_It was the best of times, it was the worst of times – HELL no. _

_Damn it, I've never had this much trouble before. Of course, I've never told a story quite like this one either but after everything I have told, well, maybe I owe some people this one. Just because I'm that nice a guy. _

_Anyway, how about we forget about having some masterpiece opening and just use this one, tried and true. Why mess with a classic?_

_No shit, there I was ... _

* * *

A/N: Just in case anyone was worried, I have not abandonned The Mistress. I hope to have a chapter written for it soon. In the meanwhile, this is something I've been working on for a year or so that was finally ready to post and which is almost completed at this point, so it won't take away time from working on The Mistress either.


	2. Chapter 1

The city of Tantervale wasn't all that different from Kirkwall. Well, aside from the noticeable lack of templars and mages, which was a big point in its favour as far as Varric was concerned. Huge point, massive really. He could not say enough how much easier that made life. Not that it was all sunshine and rainbows, of course – he'd had to use every last one of his contacts to keep out of the Chantry's notice. But that was something he'd gotten used to, ever since that day he decided to follow Hawke on this crazy mission to save the Circle. After that, his life was spent on the run, until running became his new norm.

But now that status quo had up and changed on him as, for the first time in years, he'd left Hawke's side. They'd thought it best to separate for the time being, to get a better lay of this messed up land of theirs. Or at least, that had been the plan.

So far, the plan sucked. While Tantervale itself really wasn't that bad, Varric had to admit he missed the merry band. They'd been like family to him, after all – better than family, come to think of it, since none of them had ever locked him in the Deep Roads. Not intentionally, at least.

Still, he couldn't complain too much. He was alive and he had full tankard of ale on the table in front of him. It wasn't the greatest life but he knew from experience that things could always get worse – and messier. Come to think of it, maybe it was a good thing Hawke wasn't here.

"There you are, Varric," a smooth voice said. "I have been looking for you and your manly chest everywhere."

Of course, Hawke wasn't the only one around to cause him trouble. "Riviani, I was beginning to think you might have sailed off without me. Wait, did I say think? I meant hoped."

Isabela laughed as she settled down in the chair beside him, turning it around so that she straddled the backrest. "I know you don't mean that. You'd be lost without me."

Varric shook his head slowly. "I don't think lost is the word I'd use," he told her, though he had a smile on his face.

"Sure it is," she assured him. She looked about the tavern. "Same old crowd tonight."

"Yep," he said, looking around at the place. Its name was The Hungry Lady and it was pretty much an even more rundown and dirty version of The Hanged Man. "In a volatile world such as this, the only stable things are whores and drunks."

She leaned forward, her breasts put on display in a way that was impossible to miss, not that he ever really tried. "There's one more thing," she told him, her voice low.

"And what's that?"

She smiled slowly. "Wanton violence."

"Ah yes," he said, nodding, "we can't forget that."

"Which leads me to an interesting offer I've received."

Varric raised an eyebrow. "Do I even want to ask?"

"Of course you do and we both know why," she replied. "Besides, I'm going to tell you whether you ask me to or not."

"You make a compelling argument, Riviani. So, what is this deal?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely ..."

Varric listened carefully and was actually surprised by what he heard. The whole thing was a bit more, well, heroic than he would have expected from Isabela. Then again, he had never expected her to come back with that book of hers – or rather, that book of the Qunari.

"So, are we in?" she asked after telling the last details.

"Oh, hell yeah we're in. Bianca can't wait."

* * *

Their target was, as usual, a bunch of local gang members who were pushing everyone around. Tonight, the thugs thought they were going to harass a woman whose recently departed husband had owed more than his fair share of gambling debts. Which, naturally, he'd not only kept from the missus but also neglected to pay off before his untimely demise. So now the gang was trying to get the money out of his widow.

Yep, the world sure was a peachy place to live in.

The fighting had already started by the time Varric and Isabela arrived, the sound of metal, shouts, and screaming coming from the house. Despite the tricky predicament before him, Varric couldn't keep a grin off his face as he loaded Bianca up and rushed for the door. He flung it open and scanned the room, looking for his first target.

It didn't take long to spot someone tall, dark, and ugly who was threatening to skewer a child with his spear. No, wait, it wasn't a child, it was a dwarf, and she wasn't alone - the room was filled with fighting dwarves. It was odd but ultimately didn't make a difference, as Varric was began turning the woman's assailant into a pincushion. Surprise showed on her face as the man fell and she looked around, soon spotting Varric. She nodded and raised her axe in his direction, then turned and quickly found a new opponent – an opponent who quickly found himself lacking a sword arm. Ah, a woman after his own heart. Spotting his own next target, Varric began shooting again, the rhythm of Bianca music to his ears.

It didn't take too long for the rest of the bandits to be run off or run down. As things calmed, he started to look for any bolts that were salvageable - waste not, want not, especially when you're a wanted fugitive. He was wiping one off when Isabela approached, covered in blood and with a smile on her face.

"That was exhilarating!" she exclaimed.

Varric laughed, unable to argue with her choice of words this time. "It was definitely the highlight of my day."

It was then that he noticed that the dwarves who had been part of the fight, their unexpected allies, had disappeared. "Where the hell did they go?" he wondered aloud. It wasn't often he met someone who could sneak past him like that. Impressive, most impressive.

"Where did who go?" Isabela asked, with one eyebrow gracefully raised.

"The dwarves."

"Well, you're right here," she informed him, a familiar smirk appearing on her face.

"The other dwarves."

She shrugged. "Were there other dwarves? I didn't notice." She turned away then and began walking away, closing the door on any further questions.

Varric narrowed his eyes – there was definitely something she wasn't telling him. "Fine, well, let's get out of here before the guards come and mistake us for gang members. The last thing we need is for our cover here to get blown now." He followed her but paused for a moment at the doorway, thinking. There was just something about this whole craziness that didn't quite add up. But hey, he was used to that and so with a shrug, he joined Isabela as they headed down the road and back towards the The Hungry Lady.


	3. Chapter 2

The next several days passed without much excitement. There was a letter from Hawke, which was, as usual, full of danger and turmoil and misbegotten adventures. Still, it was a relief for Varric to know that his friend was alive and well, or at least as well as could be expected. And of course, there were always the various rumblings from his contacts, what few he had managed to scrounge up here. Apparently some members of the Coterie – the term "members" being used as loosely as ever – who had also decided to pay Tantervale a visit. That news boded as well as anything involving that lot ever did.

Alongside the rumours and hearsay, there had been a visit from the widow yesterday. She had come to the Hungry Lady wishing not only to thank them for their help but also to provide compensation.

"Please, sir," she said, standing before his table with a bag of coin in her outstretched hands, "it is the least I can do,"

He shook his head. "No, the least you can do would be to save that money for you and your kids, who need it a helluva lot more than we do."

"But serrah ..."

"Oh, I'm no serrah," he insisted, "I'm just a man trying to keep his lady happy."

"Oh," she said, colouring slightly, glancing over towards the bar, where Isabela had installed herself, "I did not realize that you and she were-"

Varric laughed. "No, not that pirate. I'm talking about my dearest Bianca." He raised the crossbow so the woman could see. "She doesn't get out much, so really, I should be thanking you for giving me the opportunity. It's just a shame there weren't even more targets for the two of us to practice on."

That had seemed to do the trick, as the woman finally left, casting more than one nervous glance at him as she did. Acting bloodthirsty always seemed to have that effect.

Which brought him to today, this boring, dull, run-of-the-mill day. He was at The Hungry Lady, of course, waiting for Isabela to finally show up. As he waited, he tried to think of the best way to convince her that it was time to consider leaving Tantervale. Sure, it was maybe the safest place to be but after that letter of Hawke's, he was beginning to want more than safe in his life.

He'd had lots of time to practice his spiel now, as the Riviani was late. In fact, she was very late, even for her. Something about that felt wrong and, for once, Varric was in a position to listen to his gut instinct. He quickly paid the bill and headed out to search searching for any sign of her - all the while hoping that no Qunari were involved this time.

Surprisingly, he didn't have far to go before he spotted her, standing at the back of a nearby alley, and she wasn't alone. Right beside her was the dwarf from the other day, the one he'd saved from becoming just another corpse. And behind her were the rest of the dwarven group and Varric realized that everyone was looking at him, looking at them.

"Nice weather we're having," he said, inching into the alley while at the same time slowly reaching for Bianca.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a gruff voice said, as a blade pressed against his spine.

"Right, not doing that," he said, glancing back at the dwarf who stood ready to kill him. Again he had to admit that these guys were good. It wasn't just anyone who could get the drop on him.

"That's enough," said the dwarf by Isabela. "Stand down, Moran."

It was a moment before Moran complied, stepping back and sheathing his dagger. "As you wish, my lady."

The dwarf leader looked over at Isabela. "This is your friend, I take it."

"Yes, he is," Isabela replied without hesitation. "He's a useful person to know so I really would prefer he stay in one piece."

The dwarf smiled. "I think that sounds reasonable, especially since we were hoping to stay here for awhile."

"Really? So are we," Isabela exclaimed, killing any hope in hell that he had for convincing her otherwise. "Well then, I look forward to seeing more of you, sweet thing."

The dwarf only shook her head. "Moran, men, we should depart. Messere Varric, I do apologize for the inconvenience."

She turned to leave, the rest of her men quick to follow. For a moment, Varric just watched until finally his mouth and curiosity got the better of him.

"So, when is somebody going to tell me who the hell you are?"

The dwarf stopped and turned back to look at him. "Why not ask Isabela?"

"She lies."

The dwarf smiled again and nodded. She walked towards him until only a few feet away. She looked at him carefully, her eyes travelling up and down in a way that didn't make him feel even remotely comfortable. Then she nodded slightly. "Very well."

"My lady," one of her men called out, "you don't need to -"

"No, I think I do," she told him before extending out her hand. "Sereda Aeducan, Hero of Ferelden, it's a pleasure to meet you."


	4. Interlude II

_I swear on Bianca, she actually introduced herself as the Hero of Ferelden. I'd never lie about something like that. After all, if I did, she'd find me and do ... something unpleasant. Involving pain, lots of pain. Besides, I thought she had balls and I like that in a woman. _

_... That came out wrong but you know what I mean._

_After Sereda and her men left that night, I didn't see them again for sometime. I'd actually begun to think that maybe they'd left the city, despite what she'd told Isabela. _

_It doesn't happen often, but sometimes when I'm wrong, I'm very wrong._


	5. Chapter 3

Varric was, naturally, at the The Hungry Lady when it happened. One minute he was sitting alone, thinking yet again of all the reasons he and Isabela should have moved on by now. The next, he was turning to see Sereda – Paragon Aeducan – sitting down beside him, beer stein in hand.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked with a grin.

He made a show of looking left and right, to make sure she was really talking to him, though if he was being honest it wasn't all for show. "Sure," he said, with an attempted casual shrug. "Why not?"

She hopped up on the chair gracefully and without spilling a drop, even though the furniture was definitely not made with dwarves in mind. After taking one long swig, she turned her attention to him. "Tell me about yourself, Varric Tethras."

"Ha," he said with a small snort, "the only thing you need to know is that I tell stories about everyone, with one exception. Me."

"Is that so?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It is."

"I see," she said, nodding. "Well, as it turns out, I actually already knew that."

"Isabela?"

"Isabela."

"Damn Riviani," Varric muttered, "giving away all my secrets."

Sereda laughed, the sound drawing more attention from their fellow tavern mates than Varric was entirely comfortable with. "Not all your secrets, messere, let me assure you."

"And how exactly do you know that?" Varric asked.

"Well, for one thing," she said, looking towards his back, "she didn't know why you call your crossbow Bianca."

Varric shifted, turning to put himself between her and the weapon. "That's between me and her."

Sereda raised her hands, palm up. "I wasn't trying to pry."

"Of course you were."

"Yes, I suppose I was," she admitted, hands back on the table, "but only a little bit. Forgive me?"

He eyed her for a moment, before nodding. "Fine. But fair's fair and so it's my turn now. Why don't you tell me about yourself, Sereda Aeducan."

She eyed him back. "What do you want to know?"

He considered that for a moment. "Lots," he said finally, "but let's start with something simple. What brings you to Tantervale?"

"Oh, well, that is a simple one," she said, grinning again. "As you saw before, I'm leading a group of dwarves out into the great blue yonder."

"For what?"

She frowned. "Hmm?"

"Well," he said, "usually when someone leads someone else, there's an elusive end goal in mind. The bigger, the better."

Sereda nodded. "That's true. Usually. Would it disappoint you to find out I just wanted to explore the world a bit more?"

"Terribly."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Silence fell between them finally, as both of them took another drink and continued to size the other up. Varric took a second drink before speaking up again. "So, next question, wha-"

"Hey," Sereda interrupted, "why do you get a second question when I've only gotten one that you didn't even answer."

"Life's rough up here, Princess," he told her, "you might as well get used to it." That eyebrow raised again but she didn't say anymore, so he continued. "My next question is what are you're all doing now that you're here?"

She grinned then, which made Varric uncomfortable in several different ways. "I take my objection back because that's exactly what I wanted to tell you about. I'm planning to make a difference here for the people of Tantervale and you're going to help me."

"Really," he said, his voice the very definition of disbelief. "That's news to me. And why am I doing that?"

Sereda leaned in close, that grin still on her face. "Because I'll make sure you can't resist."

* * *

Two days later, Varric still couldn't get those words out of his head, or the proposal that had come along after them. He'd done his best to dismiss the whole idea at the time but hadn't been very convincing, least of all to himself. And the worst part was that he'd been down this road before – it was exactly how Hawke had gotten him all roped up in this mess in the first place.

"Fool me twice," he muttered, pacing in his room.

Still, he couldn't deny that it sounded exciting in all the right ways. After all, it did have all the right pieces for an epic adventure story. Action, danger, mystery ... and a beautiful woman who may or may not be trustworthy. Oh yes, the poet inside him was definitely excited and the rest of him wasn't far behind.

"So much shame on me."

He headed towards the door and was about to open it when suddenly someone was on the other side, knocking away.

"What do you want, Isabela?" he called out.

"Come downstairs," Isabela called back, "and find out for yourself. Or don't and we'll be splitting the spoils one less way."

Varric gritted his teeth and opened the door. "Oh, Riviani, how I hate you."

She laughed. "You love me and you know it. Now come along. Our dear friend has something to show us."

He didn't have to ask who this dear friend was. He suspicion was quickly confirmed by the sight of Sereda and several of her men sitting up at the bar, debating ale with the man on the other side. Sereda stopped when she spotted him and walked over.

"Good morning, messere," she said. "I'm so glad you could join us today."

Varric scowled. "I haven't joined anything just yet."

She laughed. "Oh, of course you have. But don't let me convince you, let her." At that moment, the door opened and in walked a woman who, by the looks of her, was even worse off than the widow from the other week.

"Come," Sereda called out to her, "sit down and let's talk."

The woman cast an eye around the tavern but did as she was told. Sereda sat across the table from her and, after a moment, Varric joined them.

"I cannot stay long, sirrah," the woman said as soon as he was seated, "or else my master will notice that I am gone."

"Master?" Varric asked, thoughts immediately turned to Fenris. "You're a slave?"

The woman shook her head. "No, though I might as well be. I am a ..." her voice trailed off.

"She works in the Lusty Leopard," Isabela supplied from across the room. "One of the few brothels in all of Thedas you'd never catch me visiting."

"Ah," he muttered as it began to make sense.

"Your name is Marta, right?" Sereda asked.

"Yes, sirrah."

"Well, Marta," Sereda said with a new smile on her face, one that far more comforting and didn't have even the smallest hint of jest. "What can we do for you?"

"It's my daughter," Marta told them, cutting off Varric's complaint about Sereda's liberal use of the word we. "I chose this life but I do not want it for her. But I'm afraid that, if my master has his way then ..."

Sereda reached across – an impressive feat for a dwarf – and rested a hand on Marta's arm. "You don't need to worry about it. This is exactly the sort of thing we intend to take care of."

"Thank you," Marta said, "but I can't ... I don't have any money."

Varric leaned forward, making a note to chastise himself for being this easy to manipulate later. "Don't worry about it," he told the woman, "we work on an alternative revenue stream."


	6. Chapter 4

"And then he ran off down the street, with only a boa wrapped around his waist!"

The sound of laughter filled The Hungry Lady and Varric grinned before taking a deep drink of ale, feeling very pleased with himself. He may have even heard a chortle or two coming from Moran, who usually made Fenris look cheerful, though when he turned Sereda's second-in-command had his regular dire expression.

Sereda was laughing too, though that wasn't nearly as notable. Varric didn't know what he had expected the Hero of Ferelden to be like, but it certainly was about as far from the truth as it could have been. Well, unless he'd expected her to be a polka-dotted elephant or something like that. That would have been a little more out there. But instead of any of it, he'd found himself becoming fast friends with the fearless warrior, and a not-quite-as-unwilling-as-he-wanted-her-to-believe partner in this scheme of hers to become a gang to fight gangs, cleaning up the streets of Tantervale one night at time.

"What?" she asked him, and Varric realized he'd been staring.

"Oh, nothing," he said with an exaggerated shrug. "Just trying to figure out how I got stuck in this mess."

Sereda pondered that for a moment. "The need for new stories and a disturbing lack of self-preservation?"

It was his turn to chuckle. "That sounds about right."

She grinned. "It's not all that bad though, is it? Being the good guy, helping the helpless and all that heroic stuff?"

"No," Varric said almost immediately. "No, it's not."

* * *

Tales of boas and bravery apparently travelled fast, as a steady stream of people started coming to The Hungry Lady in search of their help. Actually no, not their help; they came for the Hero of Ferelden.

"Of course, we will look into that right away," Sereda told that latest supplicant, who had requested ... something, they were all beginning to blur together in Varric's head. Luckily, he wasn't the one in charge of scheduling. The man left, gushing thank yous are he went with the promise of help.

Sereda turned to Moran. "You can handle that, I believe. Take as many men as you need, I have a different task in mind for me. And Varric, assuming he's willing."

It was a trap, he knew that. But he couldn't help himself from springing it. "Am I willing to do what, exactly?'

She smiled at him, too sweetly for it to be true. "I am in need of some of your more ... interesting talents. We've been asked to break into the home of a magistrate and retrieve an item that was stolen from is poor little orphan. Terrible story, it might even be too much for your work."

"I'm sure it must be, to have you so worked up." Varric paused, then sighed and shook his head. "Fine. You know I'm a sucker for this sort of thing."

"Yes, I do. So, shall we?"

Varric drained what was left of his drink, suspecting he was going to need it, and then stood up. "After you, Princess."

* * *

Upper Tantervale, the city's version of Hightown, supposedly got its name because it was upstream on the Minanter River. Varric wasn't sure he completely bought that, though it sounded plausible enough. The water definitely smelled better here than in Lower Tantervale. It probably looked better too, but in the middle night he really couldn't tell. Not that he had time to try, since his hands full slipping through the shadows behind Sereda, waiting to see just what he'd signed up for this time.

She paused in front one of the larger homes. She stood there for a moment, staring at the building, before turning to look at him. Varric had to shrug, then gestured to the right with his thumb. Sereda nodded and they separated, walking around the building, him right, her left.

Varric noticed a number of things about the place – where a few key rooms were and an idea of how many people were inside – but no obvious points of entry. But there was some good news: he didn't see any obvious guards. Which meant whoever lived here, they didn't feel actively threatened.

Or they did and were just being subtle about it. Luckily, Varric had yet to meet a noble that he would consider remotely subtle.

Sereda was waiting for him at the other side of the house. "The place is locked up pretty tight," she whispered. "I did see an open window on the second floor though. Do you have anything to help with that?"

He scoffed, albeit quietly. "Of course. That's why you brought me along, isn't it?" He reached back and unfastened Bianca, quickly setting up his grappling hook and rope. "Where is it?"

"Third window from the right."

"Got it." He aimed and quickly fired, the hook snagging easily on the windowsill. He pulled on the rope a few times to make sure it was secure, then handed it over to Sereda. "Ladies first."

She looked at him with an exaggerated pout. "Aren't dashing heroes supposed to carry maidens up such things?"

He snorted. "When are you all going to figure out that I'm not the hero. And you are definitely no damsel in distress."

"Hmm," she murmured with a shrug, "I suppose I'm not technically a maiden either." The glance she gave him then was very ... unnerving, but before Varric could think about why she had grabbed the rope and was climbing up the wall. He waited until she was halfway up before starting to go up himself.

The window turned out to be in a guest room, thankfully empty. They listened by the door until they were both certain there was no one on the side to notice it opening. Sereda poked her head out, glancing both ways. She gestured with her to the left and they quietly made their way down the hall. As they passed each door, she opened it slightly, peeked in, then kept moving. This kept going until they reached the second last room in the hall, beside what Varric would expect to be the master bedroom. After checking this one out, Sereda grinned and made her way in, with him close behind.

Given the enormous wooden desk in the middle of the room, this must be an office. A very messy office. "So," he said softly, "what exactly are we looking for?"

"It's some sort of gem, called the Dragon's Egg? She said I'd know it when I saw it."

Varric frowned. "Great, that's helpful. Let's just hope Charade Amell isn't involved in any of this, even though it sounds just like her so far."

Sereda turned and looked at him thoughtfully. "It's always possible, but I'm pretty sure she isn't."

"Wait, you know Charade?"

Her only answer was a slow smile, before she walked around the desk to start looking through the drawers. Shaking his head, Varric walked over to a nearby bookshelf and began looking for any hidden storage space.

He heard the footsteps first, as Sereda was focused on picking the lock on one of the drawers. He moved away from the bookshelf and closer to her, as the steps became louder and louder. He could see the moment she heard them, as her hands stilled and her eyes widened. He hurried over and pulled her down to the ground. They had just slipped underneath the desk when the door opened and someone walked in.

"Maker, this place is a disaster," a woman muttered. "Now where is that book?"

They could hear her shuffling through the shelves, which was at least far enough away from the desk to keep them from being discovered. This let Varric relax for a moment – and then realize just how close he and Sereda were. Their noses almost touched and various other body parts were pressed together, an arm here, a leg there. She was staring at him, eyes wide, pupils dilated. She shifted slightly, before she leaned in and kissed him.

It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to get Varric's heart racing. As a result, he was only half aware of the woman's exclamation over finding the book. Neither of them moved until she was back out the door, her footsteps fading away.

Sereda got up first, wriggling out of their hiding spot with ease. "What?" he asked after standing up himself and seeing the grin on her face.

"I've never kissed a beardless dwarf before," she replied.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'll let you know when I decide." She pulled her lockpicks out again and returned to the drawer she'd been working on before. Varric had a feeling she was onto something and decided to stick around and see what was inside, instead of wasting his time on a wild nug chase. That, and he was still trying to figure out just what Sereda was up to this time.

"Aha!" she exclaimed after the lock clicked. "There we go." She opened the drawer and looked inside. She reached in and rustled about, before pulling out a jewel the size of her hand. "What do you think, does this look like a dragon egg?"

It definitely was egg shaped. He wasn't quite sure what type of jewel it was, but it changed colour depending on the light. It was quite pretty, and definitely worth a pretty penny. "Maybe for a small dragon," he said finally. "Looks more like a big chicken egg."

"Yes, well, people tend to exaggerate when it comes to size."

"Not everyone."

Sereda laughed. "All right, well, we should get going. Can we get out this window?"

Varric walked over to it and looked out. "Looks good, straight down and out."

"Let's go then."

* * *

As always, they ended up at the Hungry Lady for a post-job drink. "So, Princess, let me ask you something," Varric said, taking a drink of the moonshine this place called booze.

"Yes, I can out drink you," Sereda said with a grin.

He chuckled. "We'll have to test that theory sometime. But that wasn't my question."

"And what was?"

Varric cast a glance around the room first, just to see if anyone was listening though he wasn't quite sure why he cared all of a sudden. Scratch that, he did know but he didn't want to think about that. "Why are you really here?" he asked finally.

Sereda looked at him, that single eyebrow raised once again. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're a Paragon, right? Shouldn't you be off lording it over people in Orzammar?"

"Ah," she said softly, her eyes losing focus for a moment. "Well, that's ... that's a bit complicated."

"Complicated is my middle name," he said with a grin, which she eventually returned, albeit reluctantly.

"I can believe that," she murmured. She paused again, looking down at the table, then back up at him suddenly, staring him straight in the eye. "Do you know why I was exiled?"

He nodded. "You were found guilty of killing your older brother."

"I was guilty, am still guilty," she said. "I was my father's choice to be his successor, as Trian and Bhelan both knew. It made Trian hostile, Bhelan clever ... and it made me arrogant. Bhelan set his trap perfectly and I fell for it completely. And then I was exiled. I would no doubt have died in the Deep Roads, if Duncan hadn't found me. By the time I made it back to Orzammar, my father ..." her voice trailed off and for moment, she just stared at the table. She took another drink before continuing. "My father was dead and my brother and Lord Harrowmount were both vying for the throne. Because of what Bhelan had done, Lord Harrowmount had my full support. And he still does."

"But ...?"

Sereda sighed heavily. "But it's difficult, seeing him in the place that should have been mine. Harrowmount and I both knew that I could challenge his rule if I wanted to and probably succeed. So instead I dreamt up an excuse for an expedition and took off for the surface. I haven't been back since."

Varric shrugged. "Well, I can understand that."

"You can?" she asked, her tone dubious.

"Okay, well, maybe not exactly ... but I definitely do know what it's like to want to kill your brother so I won't be holding that against you."

She actually snorted a bit at that. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Anything for you, Princess," he told her.

She looked at him again for a moment, her expression serious. Then she broke out into another grin and lifted her glass. "To family?"

He clanked his glass hard against hers. "To family."

They drank a few more rounds, until it was almost last call. Varric's head was spinning a bit, though he was pretty sure it wasn't just because of the drinking. More than once, he'd caught Sereda looking at him again, the same way she had when they were hiding under the desk.

"It's getting pretty late," he said eventually as he finished off another pint.

She nodded. "So, shall we take this party upstairs to my room?"

"Really?"

"Really."

He put his glass down and thought about it for a moment. "Well, I ..."

Her eyebrows raised. "Are you turning me down, Varric?"

"No," he said quickly. "Well, probably not. Just answer one more question first: why me?"

"I like you," she said with a shrug. "And I at least thought the feeling was mutual."

"It is," he admitted. "But I can't be the only one. I can see how Moran looks at you."

She sighed again. "Moran and the others are sworn to obey my orders. Sleeping with any of them would just make things awkward."

Varric thought about that, tapping a finger on the table. "So what you're saying is that pretty much I'm the only available option?"

"Pretty much. Or at least the only decently hygienic one."

"I'm flattered."

"You should be." She laughed, and finished her drink off with one last gulp. "So, are you coming?"

He stood up, wondering if this was a good idea or not and deciding he really didn't care. "Sure. Just as long as that pun was intentional."

She only laughed, then headed towards the stairs, with Varric right behind her.


	7. Interlude III

_So that's how it started. I have to admit, it felt good to be laying a little less low, at least for a bit. And hey, helping the helpless is pretty damn heroic too. Makes for plenty of good stories too, trust me. _

_Actually, maybe you've heard of some of them, like the Princess and the Very Angry (and Ugly) Giant, or A Pirate, A Dwarf, and the Hundred Nights of Glory. They were pretty popular in Tantervale. I even heard that a few copies made it all the way back to Kirkwall. Pretty impressive stuff, if I do say so myself. And of course, Isabela had plenty of new opportunities for her friend fiction. Some of that stuff was racy even by my standards and ..._

_Okay, okay. Enough stalling and back to the actual story I promised. Though if you want to hear more about that other stuff, I-_

_Fine, never mind. On with the show._


End file.
